Trina’s “A-ha Moment”

I recently had an epiphany that I thought might benefit someone else. The topic: life balance vs. superwoman/man drive. Sometimes you have to take a break.

Here’s a bit of my back story:  

I am a career and life coach. I’ve been building my business for the past seven years while holding a full-time job. My goal is to go solo in the near future. Being a very driven person, it’s been difficult for me to be patient with the process. In addition to the fact that I simply love this work, it’s difficult to truly set your own pace and not worry about “what’s taking so long” to get to where I want to be. In the meantime, I’ve had some amazing wins along the way. I’ve been building my tribe and carving out my niche. But it never seems quite good enough. I’m my own worst critic. But then – aren’t we all? But the truth is – as I’ve said often – it’s more about the journey than the destination. I am learning to value every step of my journey and enjoy the good stuff along the way. Every once in a while, I need a reminder.



I was catching up on journaling after church last weekend. When I sat down I was a bit overwhelmed. I’d had a stressful week at work, and a few personal hurdles. I’ve also been struggling with my decision to ‘downshift’ a bit with my business while I am getting used to my new job. You see, slowing down is so very foreign to me – it’s not in my DNA. I push, I create, I juggle. I work hard, play hard, and then go back and work some more. Sound familiar?

While I was writing, I got an idea. Once in a while, I have a ‘voice of God’ moment. It never comes across sounding like Morgan Freeman (lol) – but it’s usually pretty clear that I’m not the source of the thought.

The thought was, “You should take August off.” Now, to be clear, I’m a newbie at my job, and several people have overlapping vacations this month – another source of stress. So I WILL be going to work. But this time of year, I’m usually in “launch mode” for the prime season for coaches – September through January. I usually come up with new programs or ideas to launch in September – which takes a lot of time and energy. I had already decided not to do that this year, but to focus on writing my book instead. But I was still noodling some minor things to lob out there this month.

take a break


So I’ve decided to take a breather this month from my business. I am NOT going to be promoting new programs. I do have a couple things in play, but I will not be doing hard-core marketing. I’ll be keeping up with my writing, but letting the rest go. I do have a few ideas that I am going to just let simmer in the “idea bank” for a few weeks. I’m also going to plan a few solo adventures like a recent day trip to Annapolis, or find some fun places to write from (the beach, some outdoor cafes, maybe).

So that’s it. It’s not huge, but it’s enough of a shift for me to feel lighter and less “obligated”. Those who know me very well understand why this is such a big deal. I just thought sharing the thoughts might be freeing for someone other than myself.

As always, many peace & blessings to you, my friends!

Peace, love,and joy,


P.S. Did this post inspire you to rethink some things in your life? Is there something you’re ready to take on (or let go of)?  If so please contact me at to schedule your free“Jump Start Your Life” call.

An Open Letter to My Fellow Achievement Addicts

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So here I am on a Saturday afternoon. It’s a rainy day in the DC area. I’m still in my jammies actually. Such a treat! I have nowhere to go today. So I’m catching up on some stuff and going to watch some movies.  Had a nice, healthy brunch instead of the junk food I’ve been eating lately (that’s what happens when stress creeps in).  And I’m re-examining some things. I’m taking a hard look at what’s going on in my life, and what the second half of 2015 will bring. And I feel led capture this moment and share it with you.

Here’s the deal. I have been hitting it HARD this year. Those who know me know that I go in two speeds: fast, and HYPER-mode.  I pride myself in my ability to ‘GET IT DONE’. Always have. It’s a HUGE part of my identity.  I work hard, play hard, and then go and work hard some more.  I have a full time job that I’m good at that takes a lot of energy. I launched this business 6 years ago (next month is my anniversary… wooo hoo!), and I am continually growing and doing more there. I’m a mom. My son and daughter are older now, so it gives me more time to focus on the things that give me joy (including my coaching practice and radio show). Some people are amazed. “How do you do it?” They ask. Here’s the short answer: the grace of God and passion. Others think I’m a lunatic, and that I push myself too hard. I have a few friends who give me a serious reality check from time to time, and I’m so grateful for the opportunity for ‘real talk’ and gentle prods to follow my own advice and keep myself on the radar screen.



So here’s what happened recently.  Something external has caused me to need to re-evaluate. I spent about a month trying to do what I normally do – call upon my “Superwoman Special Mojo” and just power through. But this is what I found. Low energy. Resentment. And ultimately a lack of the will or ability to focus on the business like I wanted to. I’m just too tired – and unfocussed. And because I haven’t been exercising, and eating all that junk food – guess what – five pounds showed up out of the clear blue! And I’ll be real. At first I was PISSED OFF. I mean – REALLY? I have big plans for this year – and now what? Uggh. Hmph. Pouting and foot stomping. Hands on hips. But after I got over m, y temper tantrum I decided to step back and reassess. Today was the first time that I had the opportunity to take a good look at what is on my plate – and start re-prioritizing. I barter coach time with a good friend and fellow coach – and this morning’s session was particularly helpful. Now I’m in a better position to scope out a REALISTIC PLAN for the rest of the year. Key word being REALISTIC. I can choose some things to do to keep my business visible, and continue to support and encourage people, while deciding to move some things off of my plate or postpone for a bit. And now I’m breathing better already!



I know that many of you are in the same boat. The mix of things that take your time might be different. Perhaps you sit on one or more nonprofit boards, or are active in your church community. Maybe you coach, lead boy or girl scouts, or have other family responsibilities – like grandchildren or aging parents that take time and energy.  It can be downright tiring at times. But the problem is this – sometimes we make it look too easy. And sometimes we are too good at selling to ourselves, and to others, the image of the competent go getter who “never lets ‘em see you sweat”. And then others think, “No problem – you can handle it! Of course you can!” Well – guess what? We are all only human.

Here’s the bottom line. No matter what – you’re only one person. Sometimes “life happens” and we need to adjust our game plan. It doesn’t make us a quitter. It is always good to recognize the ability to slow things down, shift gears, or say “no”. And no matter what – I encourage you to do whatever it takes to take time out for yourself – even if it’s just for an hour, or as in my case, a day off on a rainy afternoon.

Be well. Be good to yourself.

Until next time, Trina

©  June 2015



 We all run from negative emotions, but they can provide just the wake up call we need…

are you fed up

Are you enjoying your life the way it is right now? Or is there a nagging feeling that “there’s got to be more than this”?  Today we will explore the two extremes of frustration verses contentment, and how each can help you get what you want out of life.


Are you happy with where you are in your life today? If you had to rate your life on a scale of one to ten, what number would you choose? What would you do differently? What do you want that you haven’t yet attained? What problems need to be addressed sooner rather than later?


Are you fed up yet?


Life is like a roller coaster, with highs and lows. But our perspective is what really matters. Is your glass half full or half empty?  And if you are really discontent with things, what are you going to do about it? No really… are you ready to put a stake in the ground and make a change ? Or will you let days and weeks pass without taking the steps necessary to get what you want out of life?


Sometimes we can be upset about things but not uncomfortable enough to change. When the pain of keeping things the same is greater than the work required to change things… or when we get FED UP, then we become motivated to do something different. But why wait until you’re miserable to improve things? Here is how you can use discontentment to your favor.



Choose contentment.


You can CHOOSE to be content with your life. It seems elusive, but it really is all about a shift in mindset. Paul found a way to be content and find value in his life, even from a prison cell.  Are things that bad for you? Probably not. We all have problems, but we all have blessings too. Here are two keys to choosing contentment:

  • Focus on the good. What’s good in your life? What makes you happy? Who are the people who make a big difference in your life? Count your blessings.  As we all know, things could be much worse.  If you haven’t done so before, consider keeping a gratitude journal.  Each day write down 3-5 things you are grateful for.
  •  Don’t be a victim. Victim mentality is debilitating.  If you identify with being a victim, you are choosing to give up your power.  Are you in a bad relationship? Choose today to either invest in making it better, or walk away. Some choices are harder than others. If you CHOOSE to stay, then you CHOOSE to accept responsibility for your happiness by doing whatever you can to make that relationship succeed.  If it’s already to late, don’t waste another moment of your life telling yourself the lie that you don’t have options, because I’m here to tell you from personal experience, YOU DO.


Choose yourself.


Then act on it. For example,  are you in a job that you hate? Do you daily go through a litany of what others are doing to make it miserable for you? This is a powerless perspective.  Are you doing everything in your power to make it a good experience? Or have you given up and don’t invest in doing your part? Maybe it’s just time to go. I believe that we spend too much time working to not have it be a good experience.  If you are not happy with your current job and are not actively taking steps to get another one, then you are choosing to remain unhappy. Inaction is a CHOICE not to take action.  Make a choice. Leave or stay. Only you know what’s best.


Finally – trust yourself. Sometimes deciding to seek contentment in a situation that is less than ideal can turn things around. Whatever your choice, own it, and shift your actions to follow suit.  Check in with yourself 30 days later. I’d love to hear how it goes!


So what’s new for you? What are you creating this year? I’d love to hear what’s going on – it’s fun to connect beyond these e-communications. On the other hand, if you are struggling with something – hit me up. As you know I offer a free session, and sometimes that’s all you need to reset and think about next steps.  Either way – please feel free to email me at